My eyes start to burn as they fill with tears, and I quickly blink them back before they ruin the perfect cat-eye eyeliner and false lashes she applied for me in the dressing room an hour ago. And that hot piece of man meat out there in the audience who has no idea whatвЂ™s about to hit him.вЂќ This is where you take back your life and give a giant fuck you to that dipshit of an ex-husband. You finally let your hair down, literally and figuratively,вЂќ she reminds me as I tentatively run my fingers through my long blond hair, which she recently convinced me to put caramel highlights in and which has been curled and teased and hangs around my shoulders and halfway down my back. I start to back away from the curtain when she reaches out and grabs my arm to stop me from running as fast as I can off this stage and out of this club. вЂњDo you thinkthis is something IвЂ™m a hundred percent confident about right now? I feel sick. вЂњDo you need a pep talk?вЂќ Ariel questions, with a confused look on her face. вЂњIf itвЂ™s burning eternally, itвЂ™s probably chlamydia,вЂќ Ariel deadpans. вЂIs this burning, an eternal flameвЂ™ isa beautiful and passionate lyric,вЂќ I argue with her, my voice rising to beheard over the catcalls, whistling, and clapping happening on the other side ofthe curtain, as the woman who went on before me finishes up her performance. But just so you know, вЂEternal FlameвЂ™ by the Bangles is not a horrible eighties song. вЂњI took your advice and chose another song.

Sure, itвЂ™s an unusual way to make your dreams come true, but everyone has to start somewhere. But, sheвЂ™s one of the reasons IвЂ™m standing here right now, getting ready to do something I never thought IвЂ™d do.

It still feels weird to call her my friend, considering a few months ago I had no desire to ever speak to her, let alone get to know her. My pep talk is interrupted and my eyes fly open to find my friend, Ariel standing next to me backstage. вЂњDo you normally have over a hundred complete strangers in your bedroom watching you take your clothes off while dancing to a horrible вЂ™80s song?вЂќ Close your eyes and pretend youвЂ™re just dancing in your bedroom,вЂќ I whisper to myself. An erotic song that I donвЂ™t recognize plays through the club on the other side of the curtain, the heavy, thumping bass from the music vibrating through my body. Closing my eyes, I take a few deep,calming breaths as I stand behind a black velvet curtain in the dimly lit backstage area.

At the stroke of midnight.